Community Experience

I had an incredible experience this weekend as a went to two different events for the LGBTQ/ SSA community. The first event I attended was a panel of BYU students who were LGBT. In the panel they explained their experiences and what it is like to be LGBT at BYU. They also explained what we can do as BYU students to support the LGBT community.  The second event was a special meeting for Church Leaders discussing how to help LGBT/SSA members put on by the North Star organization.

Though I learned a lot, these experiences were not without disruptions. During the BYU panel I felt very uncomfortable at first, and I had many disruptions. I wondered why people experience SSA, if being Transgender is okay with the church, if all gay people are born that way or if some choose to be that way.   These questions and issues made the experience difficult at first as I struggled to grapple with my thoughts, disruptions, and uncomfortable feelings surrounding the LGBT community. Eventually I felt peace as I came to the conclusion that I do not have the answers as to why people experience SSA, or if it will still be the same in the next life, or if some people choose it and others don't. It simply doesn't matter! My disruptions come in many parts because of society and its influence. As I think about my disruptions I realize that the most important thing I can do to overcome some of these disruptions is to love! I should be loving my brothers and sisters, no matter if they are LGBT or experience SSA. Loving them means listening to them. It means validating their experience. It means being a friend and confidant.  It means mourning with those that mourn, and comforting those who stand in need of comfort. No matter who it is I can love them  and treat them as Christ treats them. I don't have to be their judge, I don't have to understand their situation perfectly (that would be impossible), I just have to love them and as we have discussed in class, be willing to listen to their story. Another part of listening to this community is attempting to be fluent in their discourse. I noticed this weekend that there is a distinct and important discourse in the LGBT/SSA community, and if I really want to show people in this community that I love them and support them, I need to attempt to learn as much as I can about the discourse of the community.

Source: https://www.ttactuarial.ca/about/advisor-support/

The resources that the North Star organization provides for LDS members experiencing SSA are amazing! This is a safe place where people can go to discuss really tough issues.  The panel addressed why some church members see risk in assisting the LGBT community. One of the risks stated by some church members is that if we give resources to LGBT members, there may begin to be more and more of them, or it may look like we are sanctioning their choices.  Because the Church is so clearly against marriage, church members can be hesitant to support this group of people.  These risks are really not risks, and we should support the LGBT community more.  North Star provides great support for the LGBT/SSA members of the church. North Star provides support groups and activities. At the conference they had wonderful books, amazing keynote speakers like Tom Christofferson and wonderful organization leaders including one of my best friends! These resources are especially important because, like we talked about in class,  this is a group that can feel incredibly marginalized by the main culture. In a church that teaches forever families and is so clearly against same-sex marriage, it can be incredibly difficult to feel a part of the LDS community as someone experiencing SSA. I am thankful for the resources North Star provides, as well as for the panel BYU had and the hope that soon more resources will provided for those experiencing SSA at BYU.

Source: https://northstarlds.org/

I thought about my future classroom a lot as I attended this panel and conference. There will be some students in my classes who are openly gay or lesbian. There will be other students in my classes who are secretly dealing with SSA and maybe just figuring out that they are same-sex attracted. Especially in Utah, those students will need help and support. Many of the panelists discussed first realizing they were SSA or transgender, and how difficult that was. Many tried to bury it, others felt if they could just be perfectly obedient God would take it away. Some felt they would rather be straight and dead than alive and gay. Many experienced suicidal thoughts. There will be students in my classroom having similar experiences to these experiences. I hope I can be a teacher that loves my students and recognizes their challenges. There are some difficulties with helping students who are LGBT, as sexual orientation is a very personal subject. I will have to be careful in my interactions and especially in the advice I give them if they come out to me. I could definitely recommend North Star or at least recommend that a student talks to their parents about it. The barriers to me giving students resources if they come out to me are that their family may not know, it may be a secret issue, and it is just a very sensitive and personal topic. I will have to be careful surrounding these issues, however I know that I am allowed to love and support all of my students, and be an approachable source of comfort.

I wish that I could more eloquently describe and explain the experience I had at the BYU Panel and the North Star Conference. After attending these events, I am truly a changed person. I have goals to be more kind, loving and inclusive to all those around me.  I hope to be a parent who openly talks to my children about sexuality, and a parent who my children know they can go to to discuss their sexuality without fear. I hope to be approachable and good at listening. I hope to walk with people and be there for them. I hope to be understanding and loving.