I had an incredible
experience this weekend as a went to two different events for the LGBTQ/ SSA
community. The first event I attended was a panel of BYU students who were
LGBT. In the panel they explained their experiences and what it is like to be
LGBT at BYU. They also explained what we can do as BYU students to support the
LGBT community. The second event was a
special meeting for Church Leaders discussing how to help LGBT/SSA members put
on by the North Star organization.
Though I learned a
lot, these experiences were not without disruptions. During the BYU panel I
felt very uncomfortable at first, and I had many disruptions. I wondered why
people experience SSA, if being Transgender is okay with the church, if all gay
people are born that way or if some choose to be that way. These questions and issues made the
experience difficult at first as I struggled to grapple with my thoughts,
disruptions, and uncomfortable feelings surrounding the LGBT community.
Eventually I felt peace as I came to the conclusion that I do not have the
answers as to why people experience SSA, or if it will still be the same in the
next life, or if some people choose it and others don't. It simply doesn't
matter! My disruptions come in many parts because of society and its influence.
As I think about my disruptions I realize that the most important thing I can
do to overcome some of these disruptions is to love! I should be loving my
brothers and sisters, no matter if they are LGBT or experience SSA. Loving them
means listening to them. It means validating their experience. It means being a
friend and confidant. It means mourning
with those that mourn, and comforting those who stand in need of comfort. No
matter who it is I can love them and
treat them as Christ treats them. I don't have to be their judge, I don't have
to understand their situation perfectly (that would be impossible), I just have
to love them and as we have discussed in class, be willing to listen to their
story. Another part of listening to this community is attempting to be fluent
in their discourse. I noticed this weekend that there is a distinct and important
discourse in the LGBT/SSA community, and if I really want to show people in
this community that I love them and support them, I need to attempt to learn as
much as I can about the discourse of the community.
 |
| Source: https://www.ttactuarial.ca/about/advisor-support/ |
The resources that
the North Star organization provides for LDS members experiencing SSA are
amazing! This is a safe place where people can go to discuss really tough
issues. The panel addressed why some
church members see risk in assisting the LGBT community. One of the risks
stated by some church members is that if we give resources to LGBT members,
there may begin to be more and more of them, or it may look like we are
sanctioning their choices. Because the
Church is so clearly against marriage, church members can be hesitant to
support this group of people. These
risks are really not risks, and we should support the LGBT community more. North Star provides great support for the
LGBT/SSA members of the church. North Star provides support groups and
activities. At the conference they had wonderful books, amazing keynote
speakers like Tom Christofferson and wonderful organization leaders including
one of my best friends! These resources are especially important because, like
we talked about in class, this is a
group that can feel incredibly marginalized by the main culture. In a church
that teaches forever families and is so clearly against same-sex marriage, it
can be incredibly difficult to feel a part of the LDS community as someone
experiencing SSA. I am thankful for the resources North Star provides, as well
as for the panel BYU had and the hope that soon more resources will provided
for those experiencing SSA at BYU.
 |
| Source: https://northstarlds.org/ |
I thought about my
future classroom a lot as I attended this panel and conference. There will be
some students in my classes who are openly gay or lesbian. There will be other
students in my classes who are secretly dealing with SSA and maybe just figuring
out that they are same-sex attracted. Especially in Utah, those students will
need help and support. Many of the panelists discussed first realizing they
were SSA or transgender, and how difficult that was. Many tried to bury it,
others felt if they could just be perfectly obedient God would take it away.
Some felt they would rather be straight and dead than alive and gay. Many
experienced suicidal thoughts. There will be students in my classroom having
similar experiences to these experiences. I hope I can be a teacher that loves
my students and recognizes their challenges. There are some difficulties with
helping students who are LGBT, as sexual orientation is a very personal
subject. I will have to be careful in my interactions and especially in the
advice I give them if they come out to me. I could definitely recommend North
Star or at least recommend that a student talks to their parents about it. The
barriers to me giving students resources if they come out to me are that their
family may not know, it may be a secret issue, and it is just a very sensitive
and personal topic. I will have to be careful surrounding these issues, however
I know that I am allowed to love and support all of my students, and be an
approachable source of comfort.
I wish that I could
more eloquently describe and explain the experience I had at the BYU Panel and
the North Star Conference. After attending these events, I am truly a changed
person. I have goals to be more kind, loving and inclusive to all those around
me. I hope to be a parent who openly
talks to my children about sexuality, and a parent who my children know they
can go to to discuss their sexuality without fear. I hope to be approachable
and good at listening. I hope to walk with people and be there for them. I hope
to be understanding and loving.
